Part III of the “Green Christian” series
“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”
Faith is what pleases God. We all know that but do we all believe in it? In life when things go wrong and things start to fall apart, we can choose to trust and have faith in God, or go another way. In Hebrews 11:6 it says “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” We must seek after God and trust that he’s going to bring the break though, healing, restoration, etc. God is faithful, he is not a God that says no son/daughter, and I’m going to give up on you because you chose to give up on me. That’s not the type of God we serve.
In my own life I saw this play out and I was amazed by God. This past summer I found myself getting healed from many things. God broke open my heart. I was in the Every Nation School of Ministry Hawaii and this school also really broke me down. The first couple weeks I realized that I didn’t know what God was doing. It wasn’t until I started praying and asking God what he was doing. I heard him clearly say, Daughter I want to heal from the wounds that are still in you from the past. It’s time you let me heal your broken heart and heal those wounds.
I knew what God was talking about. There were 3 major incidents that happened to me when I was younger. My mom passing away, my dad not being there for me emotionally, and being sexually abused. I honestly thought I was healed but I was wrong. I didn’t realize that there were still many things that I needed to be healed from. I was still in pain and I didn’t know at all.
I have to admit it was really hard to accept at first because healing meant that I would have to face my past and my pain. I didn’t want to do that. I thought why God? Why do you want me to go back and remember all those things? I cried a lot, just thinking about it. I would talk to my sisters about what I was going though. I asked one of my sisters to pray for me and after praying for me she told me, “Courtney, you’re thinking that it’s not your timing to get healed, but God said it is and you know it.” I thought wow God; you used a sister to tell me that.
One night, I was praying and telling God that I would let him heal me no matter what it takes. I had to have faith in God even though I didn’t see things happen right away. I remember just going through so many things but through all the pain I choose to have faith. There were times when I felt the enemy try to stop me from thinking about getting healed. He would try to say so many lies to me but I fought it off. Whenever that happened, I called upon God and my sisters. I claimed the truth over all the lies he tried to put in my head and my sisters praying for me.
God pulled through he really did. I saw a difference in me and so did my brothers and sisters. I noticed that I was comfortable telling people about the pains in my past. Back then I would cry a lot when I told people about my past because I hadn’t been healed. There was such calmness in my soul that I fell in love with God more after healing me. He really was faithful to me and that drove me to be more faithful to him. I use my past pain as a testimony to a lot of people. I know how it feels to be in pain, but I also know how it feels to live in victory thanks to God. I have a lot of empathy for people that have been through a lot of pain because it really breaks my heart and it drives me to pray. God really showed me through this process that I have a heart for people. I have a heart for people who don’t know God and people who face pain. Lately I have been getting a lot of people who are facing pain and I love it. It allows me to minister to them and share what I went through.
God takes your pain and he brings his grace upon them. In 2 Corinthians 12: 9 it says, “My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” God’s grace really blew me away when I was going through my healing process. I put my faith and hope in him and I let him take care of everything else. Let God use your pain and let it become a testimony to share with others.